I’ll update soon. Promise. New layout and all.

I’m sitting in Starbucks right now, and I kind of want a coffee and a donut but I’m going to resist that temptation… for today, at least.

Just a basic, quick rundown of stuff for this entry.

• This Saturday, the 13^th, is 10 months for me and Ryan. REALLY looking forward to it, we haven’t been on a proper date in ages and I managed to get an early shift at work.
• The past week has been so stressful because of school. Many tears were shed.
• Last Monday, I woke up with food poisoning. It was really fun -_- if you guys want more nasty, TMI information, I can post all about it next entry XD
• I’m procrastinating right now, huuuuuurr.

Okay, I’m done. I hope to get the new layout up by next entry.

It’s been a while. I apologize for my on-off blogging. I just can’t seem to drag up enough energy to write new entries as often as I used to. Monthly seems to be doing it for me. I think

So… a few months ago Ryan said he was considering doing a one-month teaching internship thing in China during summer 2010. Last month Ryan told me he’d made his decision and was going. He had put in the application and everything. I was a bit upset, because he made up his mind two weeks before he told me… and didn’t tell me then. He waited. I honestly feel it would have been better to tell me right when he decided to go rather than wait. I mean, the results would have been the same. Me crying a lot. And yes, that did happen… I cried for ages in his arms, I couldn’t stop! The hell is wrong with me…

On the 13^th (five days ago) it was 9 months for us ♥ but because it was Chinese New Year’s Eve we couldn’t go out. So instead, he came over for family dinner with my parents, my douchebag older sister, and myself. I had drawn him a little something, a creation that I like to call Kittyfaces (or Retarded Kittyfaces, depending on what I’ve drawn), and he laughed and laughed because it was so cute but retarded at the same time

We celebrated Valentine’s on the 16^th rather than the 14^th, due to the holidays, but it was fine. After class we went to his house where we exchanged gifts. I got him a cute little octopus plush (inside joke) and a note on which I’d drawn another giant Kittyface X3. He got me a fluffy soft bear Pillow Pet! I love it so much &heart; I’ve named him Ryanbeaw! :3

So about my douchebag sister… well, Wednesday morning we got into a bit of a fistfight. She was demanding a hug from me, as she was flying home to Washington and I wouldn’t see her as I was going to school, but everyone in my family knows I’m not touchy-feely with family members except my mom. I said no three times and she wouldn’t shut up, so she took my phone and said she wouldn’t give it back unless I hugged her. So I kind of lost it, went over and put my knee in her ribs to try and get it back. Long story short, I punched her leg, she pushed me back and was choking me slightly before smacking me in the head.

Yeah, I regret not punching her in her ribs. Or her face. Which hurts more?

School’s been okay. Work’s been okay. Oh, and did I mention I’ve now given up horseback riding? Yes, I have, though I assure everyone it was a difficult choice to make—not that I had a choice.

Total earned from red envelopes: $237. Rawk.

It’s a basic skill, right? You learn it in grade school. Maybe even before grade school, depending. You should be able to read efficiently and properly by the time you get to middle school, and certainly before entering university. Hell, I should hope you know how to read before you even graduate grade school.

Alas, it appears as though some people can’t even hold onto their ability to read.

In poetry class two days ago, a guy was doing a reading of Li-Young Lee’s “Persimmons.” It was a terrible ordeal to sit through. His idea of an emotional reading was delivering the lines in a monotone voice, with stunted pauses at every comma and period. It was ridiculously insipid.

Now, here’s the kicker: at one particular line, one that ended with a period, he recited it as a question.

Oh my fucking God.

I visibly winced, and I wanted to get up and slug him in the face. But violence isn’t proper in a classroom environment, know what I’m saying?

Anyways, all that aside, Ryan. I know, can’t I ever just shut up about him? Do I HAVE to mention him in every entry? Well, suck it up, mofos, it’s my blog (I love you all, you know that :3 )

So, as I was saying, things have been really good between us. We haven’t argued since… well, our last argument I’m still going about my usual business of playing mad, but I’m doing it less and less. It’s been wonderful we passed our 8-month mark on the 13^th, I’m still amazed…

Last year, this exact month, I didn’t expect to fall in love. I didn’t even expect to meet a guy I’d be interested in. Because… after being hurt all the time, year after year, by men, it takes a toll on a girl. And I do mean years, starting from 2005 till 2008. Four years, four guys, four different kinds of hurts.

Yeah, I guess I sound kind of slutty, what with the “a guy a year” thing…

Anyways, I’m just really happy right now especially because I’m so in love with someone who loves me for me ♥

Anyways, 6 months and 7 months have passed with Ryan. They were very good days indeed :3 the bad thing is that we had a LOT of arguments after our 6 months, all started by me… I don’t know, something was just wrong in me and I felt the need to start things with him. Our most recent fight was on the 30^th, and it was just so awful, I felt like shit afterwards and nearly cried myself to sleep. but I’ve decided NO MORE FIGHTING! From now on it’s good times only and happiness for the both of us

We spent Christmas Eve together and exchanged gifts. I got him a tee from Threadless that I knew he’d love, and he got me a brand new, gorgeous cello! I can’t wait to get that baby tuned up and to learn some old things so I can get started playing again.

Anyways, not much has really happened besides the aforementioned events. School started again this past Monday and it’s stressful already. Ryan and I have one course together, and not only is the professor boring and kind of a douche, he also gave us homework on the first day. Now, it would have been fine if it had been reading, or maybe even a small writing assignment. But… no. He said we had to write a mini essay… and to him, 4 pages is a mini essay. Um, NO, that’s a full-fledged essay, dumbass. Not only that, it’s an essay on what we learned that day. So most of us have no idea how to structure the essay. Like, do we need an introduction? A conclusion? WHAT THE HELL!

Also, I’m regretting enrolling in an 8AM class. This means I have to be up at 6AM Tuesdays and Thursdays to get to class on time. It’s just crap and hell.

Work has also been a little bad and a little good at the same time. Yeah.

Anyways, I’ve also been off Skipfire for so long because of the discovery of a new pet site. It’s called Aywas and it’s fun and addictive, with a wonderfully friendly community. Y’all should join and love me

I’m tired. Sleep in I don’t know how long, I procrastinated on the one assignment I have

I’m also putting off work on an essay due this Thursday. I suppose it’s only because I think it’s so easy that I can ace it, no problem. I have to write a feminist analysis on a work of my choice; I chose The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. No one seems to like that novel and I’m not sure why, because I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

Ryan and I are celebrating 6 happy months together this Friday I know I mentioned it before, but I’m so excited it bears repeating! We’re going to go to Chili’s for dinner (2 for $20 for the win) and then head down to Little Tokyo to walk around for a bit before we head down to Los Angeles to watch a movie. Though this is a rough plan, it might not happen like so, but I sure hope it happens the way I have it planned in my head!

A girl brought her dog to class today. It was a small dog, I’m not sure what breed. I’m not sure what breed because she had him in a bag, and all I saw was his muzzle and his eyes peeking out. Wow. I really thought that whole “dog in bag” thing was at an end, but I guess not. And really, why did she have to bring him to class with her? If you ask me, it’s like she did it for the attention, because she was definitely turning heads.

This is also the girl who always talks in class, acting like she’s the most brilliant person in class. Last month, while we were discussing something in class, she just randomly burst out into a shameless advertising blurb about a campus-wide event that was going on that was related to what we were discussing. I get that it had to do with what we were talking about, but really? She didn’t ask if she could say her piece for this event, she didn’t even raise her hand, she just cut in and threw her words out.

Right. Rude much?

And speaking of that, I hate fake laughter. I can wean out fake laughter from a mile away. I know real laughter when I see it, and today, as I traversed the campus heading towards my class, I heard fake laughter. This girl, standing with a group of her friends, was laughing at whatever they were talking about and it was so obviously fake. She was like, “Hahahaha! Oh… oh… oh my god hahahahahahahaha!”

You had to hear it. And she was really acting up a storm too; bending over, clutching her stomach lightly, everything. It was sickening. I wanted to trout-slap her for it.

Anyways, I recently logged back into Etsy to check out the offerings. I made an account earlier this year but stopped looking around after work got really hectic. Well, I finally bought some things, just some cute earrings, but I’m super excited for them to arrive! I’ll post pictures as soon as I get them the sellers on there are so nice, and the handmade jewelry pieces are so gorgeous! I’m hoping to get a reply back from a seller soon about an earcuff with custom colors; I’d like one in red and gold to go with my Gryffindor tie from Alivan’s.

I guess I should go back to working on my kinesiology homework >.>

I’m glad everyone seems to like the layout; I wasn’t sure at first if it would go over well but I guess it did! now all I really need to do is upload the tardmote emoticons I’ve been using since forever. Old habits die hard

So for those of you who play the Facebook game Restaurant City, I just have to say I love the new feature where you can click on broken machines, dirty plates, or dirty toilets and fix them, just like that! It’s amazing and wonderful and heck, it sure helps with ratings! It’s a total dream come true ♥

Oh, and in case you guys haven’t noticed, I added an adorable toybox! I’ve wanted one forever, and I decided I’d start now. Yes, that is a condom adoptable >.> don’t ask. If anyone knows where I can find raccoon or cow pixels, please let me know! :3

Next Friday is mine and Ryan’s 6-month anniversary. Because of my past relationships, it’s kind of been stressing me out lately, and is what caused the fight between us that I mentioned last entry but I have been getting over the past slowly and looking to the future only we are going to go out to dinner and a movie, probably Where The Wild Things Are.

Time to get ready for work, love y’all! ♥

I suppose I should make some sort of an update…? Well, as you can see, version one features Taylor Swift. This is because I was working on another layout… and then I was inspired and started on another layout… and then I heard Taylor’s “You Belong With Me” and I was hooked. I downloaded it off iTunes and listened to it non-stop while I worked on this layout. I must say I am quite satisfied by it :3 I think it’s really cute and different from what I usually feature in my layouts.

A few days ago Ryan and I had a major fight it was really bad and I was crying near the end. But we talked things out and made up. I’m so glad I’m finally in a relationship where we can talk about our problems and work through them instead of ignoring them and letting them ruin something good :]

Um… you know, I can’t really think of anything so huge that it deserves to be blogged about. Aside from the news that the paper I BSed at the last minute appeared to be worthy of an A- with my professor. Teehee!

However, I have lied about my identity here since the beginning, even before GEKKOSTATE was born. You have all known me as Dane since this all started, but I think it’s time I came clean with my real name, and Royce’s name as well.

Why do I write this now? Because I recently decided not to renew my account with Parade, and therefore let the domain expire. I have just been accepted by Kya as a hostee, as suggested by the awesome lufferly Georgina. So, I am working on a new layout for the new site, which I will hopefully get done soon. GEKKOSTATE.org will be cleared of all content and pages, and an index page will be put up directing any wayward visitors toward the new site. I’m also going to try my best to “restore” the most memorable entries from here onto the new site.

I also decided I would start using my real name, as well as Royce’s, on the new site.

So hi, everyone. My name is Danette, and my boyfriend is Ryan. Nice to meet y’all

I felt terrible afterwards, just sick to my stomach :[ I hate when stuff like that happens between us. But we made up, so all is well again :3 gosh, I love him ♥♥♥♥♥

Anyways, I said I’d post about the outfit I wore to Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights on Friday, so here goes!

Since Royce got me a pair of gorgeous black-and-orange striped knee-high socks with a cute little white bow at the top, I just had to wear them to the event (they are totally Halloween socks!) and decided that they deserved to be showed off. Instead of opting for shorts, I decided to unleash my feminine side… and I bought a skirt. This is momentous because anyone who knows me will tell you that I am the girl who is least likely to wear a skirt. I am most comfortable with myself in pants and Vans, and depending on my mood, either a nice button-down shirt or my very ripped, very comfy black Volcom tee.

But the skirt hunt was a difficult one. First I went with my mom to Target and found only one skirt that I even liked just a little, this blue/black plaid skirt by Xhilaration.

Royce came over to check it out and, as I thought, hated it. The wide belt was what really turned him off :Q plus it didn’t match the socks at all! I ended up returning it, as it wasn’t really a viable match to any of my tops or shoes. A few days later, I went looking again with Royce. Again, no skirts were found! Though I did try on a dress, got stuck in it, took it off without letting Royce see me in it, and cried a little to him about how I don’t look pretty in dresses. It all culminated in him comforting me ♥ and asking me to try it on again, which I did but in a bigger size, because XS had practically strangled me D: in the end, I realized that I did look good in it after all :3 but didn’t buy it because I didn’t own any shoes to wear it with :[

Thursday, just one day before the event, I went to the mall with my mom for a last-ditch effort at finding the skirt. We walked into Papaya, which I had always swore never to walk into, but it seems they wanted to make me eat my words. Because after a few trips into the fitting room, I found the perfect one: this gorgeous black lace tiered skirt; the lace parts have this pretty floral design on it. As Royce said, it looked totally goth loli but cleaner and he found it absolutely sexy on me, of course!

After we bought that, I decided to buy a pair of boots to wear with it; slip on Vans would not do at all. After two stores (and a crappy experience at one) we nipped down to Payless. I saw the perfect pair as soon as I walked in: these gorgeous and ultra-comfy Sydney Flat Boots by Lower East Side!

So, putting it all together with a soft black button-down shirt with roll-up sleeves from Converse, I looked sexy as hell! And I knew it even though I ended up crying and scared out of my mind… yeah, not bad at all :3

I guess the only question now is… should I buy the dress I tried on? It was this nice black plaid bibbed front dress from Mossimo Supply Co. I mean, I have boots to wear with them now… ebil3

First, I had a riding lesson in the morning. When I got there, my instructor had just finished exercising her own horse, so while I waited for her to untack him and rub him down, I visited with a few of the other horses. I just visited the closest two, the first was a white stallion named Veterano (the perfect fairytale horse, if I could get Royce on him in a suit of armor I could really call him my Prince Charming ♥) with a silky smooth nose. He is extremely gorgeous and so gentlemanly :]

The second was a beautiful bay gelding by the name of Unitario. I need to say now that this horse is extremely important to me and tears are in my eyes as I type this because I love him so much. The first time I met him, my instructor had just finished exercising him in the arena. She was walking him towards me, so I met them halfway. And he stopped and nudged my left shoulder with his soft, silky nose. My instructor was amazed; he clearly liked me, and appeared to have taken to me quite quickly. He walked as close as he could to me and was so gentle and wonderful. Since that day, I have made it a point to visit him whenever I’m there for a lesson. I suppose, in hindsight, that wasn’t a good idea, as I have now fallen in love with Uni; however, in my defense I couldn’t help myself. Unlike the other horses I visit, who will give me only a second of their attention before turning away (excluding Veterano, who seems to bask in all the attention he can get), Uni is focused on me the whole time. He stands there and looks at me, lets me stroke his nose and pat his neck, scratch his cheek, etc. He is truly my dream horse; not only is he the first and only horse I have ever fallen this hard for, I can tell that our personalities match perfectly.

Unfortunately, I am afraid I will have to say good-bye to him someday soon. The stable owners are selling him, and it’s only a matter of time before a buyer comes along and he catches their eye. He is, after all, an exquisitely built and gentle horse; he capable of performing Grand Prix movements and even made a splash in the 2007 World Cup. He has actually been for sale since I started taking lessons; I was terrified while I was driving to the stable yesterday that when I got there I would find out he’d been sold and sent to his new home. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case :V but like I said, it’s only a matter of time. I really wish I could buy him myself, but he’s much too expensive I know I’ll be absolutely devastated when he’s sold; I can only hope that when the time comes for him to leave, I’ll have had a chance to say good-bye to him. It’s just riding will never feel the same for me again without him there :slash

On to something scarier and crazier—Halloween Horror Nights. Let me just say that I am never going to one of these things ever again, no matter what Royce or any of my friends say. I guess the only exception is if I’m part of a huge group, so I can huddle in the middle and be safe.

They had way too many fog machine spewing out this foul-smelling smoke; we walked in and I almost vomited. A little way in, we started hearing the sound of chainsaws; surprise, surprise, there were 5 or 6 people dressed in long black robes and pig masks (you know, from Saw) with chainsaws. There were also people with their faces painted black and white (like a skull) wearing black clothes wearing metal things on their hands and knees; they’d get on the ground and slide up to people, making this huge noise and scaring the hell out of people. One did it right in front of us and scared us both, and yes, I screamed V:

All I was doing, basically, was holding on to Royce as tight as I could, hiding my face against his side. I thought it would keep me safe. I learned differently when one of them snuck up beside me and snorted in my ear; scared me shitless and I screamed my trademark, high-pitched, whistle-like scream.

When we got to the center of the park (at least I assume it’s the center) we saw this small stage set up and this big contraption over it with lights and fire coming out the top. I don’t know what the dick on stage was saying or doing, and I don’t really care. There were girls clad in scanty outfits (read: underwear and bra) covered in fake blood dancing around sexily in these small areas; I assume the idea was to make it look frightening yet sexy all at once. I can safely say I was thoroughly offended. First of all, there were a lot of young kids there who really don’t need to see that kind of crap; second, I didn’t see any guys out there in man-thongs dancing around like they were strippers off a pole. Why do women always have to be sexualized in every single possible situation? It’s so old and stupid now angry[ I mean, it’s okay to be proud of how you look, be confident, etc. But really, something like that (to me) is like broadcasting to everyone (especially young girls) that to go places, to be beautiful, to look good, you have to look a certain way, dress a certain way, and act a certain way.

But I digress! After that, we made our way to the tram tour (known as Terror Tram: Live or Die! for the event), which Royce claimed was the least scary thing there. Halfway through, the tram stops (right in front of the Dr. Seuss area) and everyone gets off the tram and begins the maze. Which was scary as hell. Blood-soaked people are strewn everywhere; there was a lady chained up inside a car with half her face eaten off begging us to help, people were running around with knives, Chucky came jumping out of a school bus, scaring the shit out of everyone. It was fucking crazy! Oh, and there were tons of zombies around as well, because… zombies are in this year? Yeah.

I didn’t describe it in extreme detail because I spent most of it huddled next to Royce, holding on for dear life, and trying not to throw up or pass out. There were just loads of people with masks on, covered in fake blood and carrying all sorts of weapons. It was freaky, and scary, and something I never want to do again, but probably will :X

At the end of this horrendous experience, we all clambered back onto a tram to take us back. As soon as I climbed on, I started crying; I was pretty much bawling in Royce’s arms. Not fun! Not fun! Who ends up crying at one of these events, right? Obviously me. I felt pretty lame as we were leaving (I wanted to leave as I wasn’t having fun at all :slash ) and I saw all this kids running around having fun and not crying. I felt really bad because tickets were $50 each, and we left after the one attraction :[ but I just didn’t have it in me to man up and shut up…

Afterwards we sat down on a bench outside for a bit of rest; I also needed it just to calm down. After that, we strolled through CityWalk to get back to the parking lot, and headed back home (and by that I mean Royce’s house). I really needed some cuddles to calm my nerves, and Royce always knows how to make me laugh

I wore an all-new outfit that night as well, which I’ll write about in the next entry I’m stopping this one right here, I think it’s too long :3

So that paper that was due today… I didn’t start working on it until last night. At 8PM. Hahahahaha! Never underestimate my gift of procrastination, right? I finished it, and it’s probably not that great, but whatever :W too late! I turned it in already! ebil3

Currently there are family issues raging about. Well, only one, but it’s been going on for a few years now. It’s hopefully getting resolved soon; I don’t want to go into massive details about this issue, but just know that it’s been getting so dramatic lately that I’m just over it. I don’t care anymore. My aunt is stupid, my cousin (her daughter) is stupid, and my cousin-in-law (my cousin’s husband) is stupid. Oh, and why not throw it in: their oldest daughter, who is like 7 or 8, is stupid as well. Sure, she’s just a product of her parents’ teachings, but I can dislike her all I want.

Anyways, on to something more cheerful: Christmas! It’s so close! I’ve already put in a request asking for the 24^th and 25^th off, so hopefully I’ll get those days off to be with Royce and my family. Royce and I have agreed to buy each other clothes for Christmas :Q I think. We might have just been joking about it :3 but I have the perfect gift in mind for him! This awesome tee from—you guessed it—Threadless! It’s perfect! Royce’s favorite animal is the raccoon, and he is a drummer, so you look at it and you try to tell me it’s not the perfect thing for him! That’s right, you can’t! But as you can see, the guys’ sizes are all sold out :[ so I’m really hoping it gets reprinted in time for the holidays.

Speaking of cheerful, Royce’s birthday is at the end of November! I’m contemplating getting him a gift. He didn’t give me anything for my birthday, at my insistence, but he did surprise me with little gifts during the weeks leading up to my birthday :3 I really want to get him something nice, but as usual I’m at a loss what. Aside from paying for food :Q I’m also a bit nervous because my mom might have a fit about me getting him something when he didn’t get me anything, she’s like that :slash

Anyways, Halloween Horror Nights, we’re going in two and a half days! I’m so nervous because I know it’s going to be scary and I’ll be scared shitless! Aaaaah! O: as it turns out, it’ll only be Royce and I; his friends decided not to go with us, but that’s alright! We’re together c: even better, I’m having a riding lesson in the morning! Wow! I’ve not had a lesson since July 1^st; in case you can’t count, that’s three and a half months away from a horse! D: I really hope I remember how to post and stuff :3

On a random note, I got me a new Gameboy Advance SP! Well, it’s used, actually; a co-worker gave it to me. He didn’t want it anymore, selling it wasn’t really working out for him, and so he offered it to me. He also gave me an EFA Linker containing a few ROMs, including some American Idol game and Shining Soul II. The Idol game is pretty good, in a lame way, but SSII has got me! I already have two characters going on, a Wizard named Zexon and a Ninja named Godric. It’s addicting! I would really like the Pokemon games, but they are nowhere to be found now I could download the ROM and replace one of the unplayed games on the Linker, but I tried and it said I didn’t have the proper software drive, or something like that. Damn it :[

The family dinner last night was okay-ish. Royce and I were relegated to sit at the same table with my stupid cousin, her abusive husband, and three kids. Just us. We were like the outcast table, and it kind of pissed me off that they made us sit there while my brother and everyone else sat at the other table. Whatever, bitches. It was seafood, which Royce hates, so I fed him a tiny bit of spider crab (which he refused to touch after) and some spiced lobster (which he dug into because it was spicy). He also had lobster eggs and decided they were okay. My nephew and niece seemed to like him, but their mother (my cousin) apparently didn’t and instructed her husband to drag them away from us. I kind of expected that, because she’s a prude, but she’s also very judgmental and I really can’t wait for her kids to grow up to be just like her so I can hate them too angry[

School-wise, I haven’t done a lot. I still don’t have any friends, and by this point I don’t really care. I have a friend from community college planning to transfer in next fall, so a yay there. I’m starting to fall behind on assigned reading and such, so I’m going to start trying harder. I can’t afford to fail any classes, this being an expensive university and all.

Life… has just been so busy. I always feel like there’s something to do even when I’ve got nothing in particular to complete. Work is hectic and apparently there are now policies in place preventing us from divulging too much company information as well as posting negative things about the work area in online forms. I’m kind of wondering who did what to make that happen :Q

The good news is that relaxation is coming up fast. On the 23^rd, Royce and I are going to Universal Horror Nights! I’m kind of scared because I’ve never been to any of those Halloween theme park things before, and also because everyone tells me Universal is way scary, much scarier than Knott’s! I’m scared of peeing myself :X Royce said he’d protect me, though, so I’m not that scared anymore :] his friend and his girlfriend might be going as well, so it’ll be even less scary. I can’t wait!

On a lighter note, after Georgina wrote about winning a free shirt from NameCheap off Threadless, I checked out the site and ordered a few of my own. I got the following: Fashion Faux Pas and We Are Just Pixels After All. Then a few days ago I ordered Pillow Fight, it’s so cute! Next I either want Bad Teddy, Nuts!, or Lil’ Soap :3

I’m sitting in my second class right now, Literary Theory. I’m not going to even bother explaining it, because it’s too complex and pretty boring. It doesn’t start till 1PM, but I needed to charge my laptop :Q I didn’t do my reading for this class, sadly, because I was too lazy and busy playing Neopets and Restaurant City to do homework. Haha! It spells failure in my future.

I have work tomorrow and I get to see Royce afterwards tomorrow ♥ he is going to feed me and we will have amazing cuddles, how great is my boyfriend? :3 by the way, readers, I finally showed Royce GEKKOSTATE.org and he read a few entries and laughed. So yes, give him a warm hello. I am copying Michelle when she finally let Clay read her blog :W

I’m really excited because since school started, we have realized that we have conflicting schedules, so we’re not able to see each other as much. Any time I can get with him is fantastic! I can’t think of another person I’d rather spend all my free time with

On a foody note—I went grocery shopping with my mother yesterday (although I am the only one who’ll go shopping with her) and not only did she buy me bologna, which I love and have not had since I was like 12 (or whenever Subway stopped offering it as a meat), she also bought me this packet of ready-to-eat mashed potatoes that only requires 6 minutes of microwaving before it’s ready to eat. And anyone who knows me will tell you that I love potatoes in many a form. Wheee! ebil3

Class is starting now, whumpf!

So, not only do I know no one in any of my classes, I have to spend my break all by myself. A whole hour, spent in solitude.

You see, I’ve never not had friends. Though a lot of people disliked me, even hated me; though I was made fun of mercilessly throughout my school years for various reasons, most of which had to do with my physical beauty (or, in the bullies’ opinions, lack thereof) and my personality (apparently society deems me as weird, but so be it); though I wasn’t a cheerleader, or homecoming queen, or student body president, I always had friends. I never had trouble making friends, so I always thought I was good at the whole befriending thing.

But I started thinking about it yesterday and the reason it was so easy for me was because I already had friends around to assist me. Those first friends were made by some stroke of luck and were the key to more friends. And now that I have no friends, I’m afraid it means I won’t have any friends at school.

I told Royce about all this yesterday and he tried so hard to help me. He was harsh and truthful, without bullshitting me or beating around the bush; first I appreciated his tough love, but I was feeling so emotionally delicate that I began to see it as pure meanness… and I started to cry :c it was bad, I cried in my room and then, when I got to work, I stayed backstage and cried even more and even harder. Two co-workers saw me and came over to give me hugs. I was feeling so down :c

The new Halloween-themed fireworks, Halloween Screams, cheered me up a bit, though.

I guess I can stay friendless for this quarter; I’ll just bring my laptop with me and go online while I’m on break. Play Neopets, go on Facebook, etc.

I have been looking at a few hosting companies to replace Parade. I’m considering four: RetroGhost Webhosting Project, RReliant Web Hosting, Emeral Hosting, and Rerun Hosting.

At RetroGhost, I am looking at the Regular Unlimited package. It offers everything I have now but is $5 cheaper. (Unlimited Reseller, at $25, is also an option.)

From RReliant, I am looking at their Diamonds plan. Again, it is everything I currently have but $4 cheaper. It’s a Shared plan so their Reseller plan London (at $22) is also catching my fancy.

Over at Emeral Hosting, their Reseller plan Platinum is my top choice (without WHM, their Shared plans are not an option at all). At $22.50, it’s $2.50 more than what I pay now, but really, I don’t mind too much.

And last is Rerun; it also happens to be last on my personal list because of an incident that occurred just recently. Their Shared S4 plan is the same price as my current Parade Reseller plan, $20, while their Reseller R4 plan is a pricey $31. Then again, Rerun is hardly in the running right now.

In order of consideration right now, it’s RetroGhost, Emeral, and RReliant.

As for my new domain name, I have already decided what I want. However, I’m not sure if I want it to be .info, .net, or .org.

Argh! Such decisions!

The cafe was delicious! I’ve never liked pancakes, but I developed a liking for buttermilk pancakes last year. We ordered one dish and shared it, because servings there are really big; we didn’t even finish! We ordered the Eyes Wide Open pancakes as well as the griddle potatoes; yummy yum yum! Espresso, chocolate chips, and buttermilk—awesome combination. The potatoes were great as well. I highly recommend this place to anyone who visits Hollywood; it’s packed daily, you might have to wait up to half an hour for a table for two, but it’s well-worth it. The atmosphere is reminiscent of the lifestyle of a Hollywood resident, full of all the hustle and bustle but, at the same time, relaxed. The employees are all friendly and real, and there’s this short man running around staying on top of the line of people waiting for a seat (he’s adorable). It’s a great place

So after that, we headed down to Chinatown. We ended up just driving through it, so we spent all of 5 minutes there, haha :Q we went over to Little Tokyo then. We stopped by this plaza that I go to a lot; there’s an arcade inside, and we ended up playing some DDR. We had some tokens left over, so Royce played this taiko drum arcade game. He was amazing at it! ♥

After that we walked around the area for a bit. We found a Yogurtland and a Pinkberry, so the area covers our respective yogurt cravings! (I’m the one who likes Yogurtland :3 ) we checked out Anime Jungle’s second store, which carries Goth Loli things, and Royce really wanted to get me a cute skirt. But those things are really expensive, so I don’t think so! :]

It was a really fun day :3 Royce said he wanted to go back sometime, so that’s going to be a future date. I can’t wait! We always have so much fun together. That archipelago can wait c:

Before I go, please remember to vote for me at Sweet & Sugary’s domain contest. I also joined a new contest over at RetroGhost, so please click this link to help me win. You can find details about the contest here. Thanks! :3

Also, next time I’m going to go through my list of possible hosts. I have a few; RetroGhost is currently my top option. Have a great weekend, all!

I think it’s basic knowledge that take = give; that is, the amount you take must be equivalent to the amount you give. It’s not take > give (take more than you give), and although take < give (give more than you take) is also possible it’s just a very dumb thing to consider doing.

With that said, taking as much as you give is just the right thing to do when it comes to maintaining relationships. They are two-way streets, after all. If one were to give too much without receiving an equal amount back, there would be bumper-to-bumper traffic on that person’s side. But if both parties give and take an equal amount, traffic flows perfectly and seamlessly.

Like I said, I have been analyzing relationships of my own as late. Let’s start with Royce. A good man, he is, worthy of all the love and affection I have given to him thus far. And unlike the idiots in my past, he has never once assumed that it would be okay of him to show me less affection. If anything, he gives me much more, prompting me to up my give. I think we’re both extremely competitive in that regard—competitive over who shows more affection and more love! Along with those we also show respect for one another and we care about what the other thinks in many different aspects of life.

And then there’s my family. I love them, I really do. However, there are times when I feel my love is not reciprocated equally. For example, I don’t think my mother loves me quite as much as she really does when I’m not doing well in school, or when I refuse to do things her way. And my father? If I don’t wear colors other than black, or if I pull my phone out of my pocket to send a text message, his love level drops significantly as he glares at me with a mixture of anger and disapproval. Both examples are quite upsetting; TV shows and movies have you thinking that a family loves one another unconditionally, but it seems quite the opposite in reality. I mean, I can safely say I love my parents unconditionally. Why? Because even at the height of their most unreasonable, stupidest, or uncalled-for moments/comments, when I am so angry at them I think I might snap, I know deep in my heart that I love them regardless. With family, I really do think that I give more than I take, and that’s not really fair seeing as to how it’s family, right?

As for friends… well. I know there are a select few who are on the same track of give = take as I am. They’re my best friends. There are some who will gladly take, but rarely give. I have plenty of friends like that whom I don’t really keep in contact with. I don’t really need them around, but either they’re a really good laugh to keep around or I’m just a glutton for punishment. Either way, I limit my time with people of that sort; they’re not good for my temper.

I’m not really sure why this struck me suddenly, but it did. What do you guys think? Do you feel like you have relationships where you give more than you take?

The visitor section is still very much blank, as I haven’t had time yet to go through and purge my crappier stuff. I’ll get to that soon, though. Really, I promise :X

In other sitely news, I am starting to debate getting a new domain and being hosted elsewhere when my account expires in February. I love Parade Hosting to pieces, but lately databases have been disappearing like mad and reappearing and… it’s unnerving, really. Plus, GEKKOSTATE.org isn’t a very personal domain. It’s not me or relevant to me. It’s something I weaned from a manga that I enjoy but it’s not related to me. I already have a new domain in mind, as well as a replacement host, but if you guys have any suggestions please feel free to throw them at me! I’m looking for something affordable; currently my package is $20USD/year for unmetered space, bandwidth, subdomains, FTP and cPanel accounts, email accounts, and MySQL databases. (It also includes a free domain with yearly payment.) So anything as good as that, let me know :]

Back to my life!

Lately my mother has been getting on my nerves. I don’t know what the hell she wants from me. A few weeks ago, I asked her if she liked Royce and she said yes, she did; that if she didn’t like him, she wouldn’t let me go out with him (because quite obviously, I need permission to be in love). But now she’s throwing shit fits whenever I mention that I’m going out with him for the day. I’m still going out with him, at most, two days a week. We see each other a bit more than that because he’ll come over to my house to visit for a few hours. It’s getting so ridiculous that I’m contemplating doing something badass and being kicked out of this place so I can live, really live. Royce is always saying I can live with him, which would be nice, but at this point it would probably consist of me being ultra-mean to his younger brother and having his younger brother be mean right back.

Royce’s younger brother is a douche, by the way. He is extremely sexist and believes women can’t do anything like men can. He actually told Royce last week that looks were all he cared about and that it’s the only thing he cares about in a relationship. How stupid is that?! It’s probably why he’s still single, stupid turd.

Anyways, tomorrow Royce and I are heading over to the park to watch Fantasmic! together. The new dragon is finally up! I squee at the thought of seeing it while cuddling Royce :3 I also won a coupon for free popcorn at work, so we’re going to put that to good use. It’ll give us something to munch on while we wait

And on Sunday it will be our four-month anniversary c: I know it’s kind of sappy that we celebrate every month, but it’s a sweet thing, if you ask me. We’re going to visit a little archipelago a friend of mine recommended to us. I’m really looking forward to it :]

Let me know what you think of this layout, give me host recommendations if you’ve got any, and remember to vote for me, please! :3

So really, not much has happened since my last blog. Royce and I were supposed to go to the park this past Tuesday in late celebration of our three-month anniversary, but we ended up hanging around his house most of the time since he had hurt his foot Saturday or Sunday night and wasn’t up to walking around a lot. We did, however, make a trip out to watch The Time Traveler’s Wife! I’ve been absolutely dying to see that movie since the trailers have been out, and he reluctantly agreed to take me :3 I loved it! I know some people were really confused by the ending, but they just didn’t understand the importance of the time stream :Q

Royce was sure it would blow, but he ended up quite liking it :3 the only bad thing about it was that it got me crying towards the end of it, and when we got home I was just in a really emotional state. As we cuddled, I ended up crying about 4 more times, and the last time was the worst because I was actually a bit sad. I looked it, too, because Royce took one look at me and teared up as well :[ but we cuddled it all away c:

Work has been very busy as of late. I still like working there, but I don’t like all the stress and the people yelling at me just because they’re stupid.

I need to get out and hang out with my friends more often. Since graduating, I’ve rarely hung out with my friends, and I practically stopped going out with them after Yamikage moved last year. After meeting Royce, he’s the only one I’ve been going out with, and he’s always urging me to go out with friends. So who knows, maybe I’ll have actual plans this week or next not involving him or my family :Q

I’m getting a bit bored with this layout, especially since I’ve given up on watching Code Geass. So expect a new layout sometime soon; remember I said I went on a layout spree and made layouts for GEKKOSTATE when I first got the domain? Yep, I have a few versions ready for future use :Q next one will feature another anime male and be black and blue, just as a hint :3